Do you ever get so annoyed at yourself for crying when you’re trying so hard to hold it in? I do. I did today.
I went to talk to some people at the university about options involving moving halls and transferring at the end of the year and I just started crying. It was so embarrassing. I hate crying in front of people I know but it’s even worse when it’s in front of strangers. Especially when it’s ugly crying. Ugly, snotty, hitched breathing, streaming eyes crying.
That’s another thing, how do movie stars cry so prettily?! How?!
Even worse than the crying is the period afterwards, where you feel awful, have a banging headache, swollen eyes and a still snotty nose. And today I had all that plus more and was out in public!
Then I did something that made me even more annoyed at myself – I skipped on going to the gym!
I’m really trying to lose weight at the moment, really trying, and have been relatively good at sticking to a gym routine. But today after my cry fest I really didn’t feel like working out. Which is totally understandable, but when you’re already feeling awful something like that just adds to it.
So it’s safe to say I’ve been a bit mournful this afternoon, annoyed at my flatmates for putting me in this situation but also more annoyed at myself, because really I’m the one that’s put myself where I am. I’m in charge of my own happiness, no one else.
BUT tomorrow is a new day and I’m holding out hope that it will be a good one!