I know the new year sees a plethora of ‘new year new me’ posts but I still felt the need to write this one, so here goes.
I was talking to my mum the other day about what my new year’s resolutions are. Some of them are pretty generic and probably shared by millions of other people but there you are.
I want to:
- lose weight / get fit
- achieve a 2:1 or 1st for my first year at uni
- finish my novel
- be more positive and happy with my life
- be myself
They all seem pretty reasonable to me. I’ve joined a gym to start on the first one, I’m working hard on my essays to try and achieve the second and the third, while still having a long way to go, is all planned out and ready for me to put pen to paper.
The fourth is a little harder – be more positive and happy with my life.
I’ve been struggling with this one. In the lead up to Christmas, I stayed with my grandparents and had a real heart to heart with my nana (we also did flower arrangements for church and home, in case you were wondering about the picture!) We talked about my life as it is and how I see my future. I talked honestly with her, shedding a few tears, and opened up about my moments of unhappiness and how I am unsure in regards to University.
I realised that my degree is not what I love and see myself doing. My degree is just a degree, something to gain so that I can get a better job. This made me really upset because I never wanted to be one of those people who is not learning out of a love for it but instead out of a desire for a better job.
I also realised that my dream job is to be a writer, a novelist. But this isn’t a plausible career unless you actually make it in the big times. So I know that I need another job to do whilst I try and make it as a novelist, but I can’t do anything else in the writing industry because I’m getting a sociology degree, not an English one.
I then looked at teaching English abroad, something which I need a degree and a TEFL qualification for but will enable me to travel and earn whilst still pursuing my writing. In fact, it will even help with my writing by broadening my experiences and knowledge base.
So now I am feeling more positive about the future, but the here and now I am still struggling with. That’s what I need to work on and to do that I think ties in with number five – be myself.
Yes, I can be shy and unsociable and would rather play Uncharted on the ps4 than go out clubbing, but you know what, that’s me; take it or leave it.
I am who am and, to be honest, I think I’m pretty alright.
What about you? What resolutions have you made?